The Bulls are so far from their pathetic goal of being early-round playoff fodder

in the Eastern Conference, no less!

It was almost advantageous from a spin perspective that his Bulls got obliterated in the play-in tournament, as that obviated any questions of Arturas Karnisovas regarding how far away they are from being relevant.

It put me in a blog coma for weeks, so I understand if you all forgot as well: AKME, completely lacking this perspective, instead insisted that they accomplished things and are on the right track.

Reminder: that thing you like actually is bad and hopeless

The first round of the playoffs further emphasized how ludicrous this self-congratulatory mindset was. The Miami Heat, who were doing the throttling in that play-in game, got routed in historic fashion by the top-seeded Cavaliers. The Pistons, who if you recall¹ completely worked the Bulls in back-to-back games in February, put in a much better effort but were also eliminated in the first round.

And this is the Eastern Conference playoffs! How far away are the Bulls from being the Lakers or Clippers? I’d go farther and exasperate over how far they are from being an actual contender, but AKME has all but admitted they are not interested in that².

They instead have brought forth and reiterated the concept of a plan that has two major tenets:

1. a fast-paced style that will overwhelm more top-heavy, older teams

2. 9-10 very good players, preferably young and with experience

We all know this is stupid, or at best cynical self-preservation. And it is another example of how missing the playoffs entirely may have benefitted AKME, so we don’t have it shoved in our faces how wrongheaded this is.

Let’s get this out of the way first: it’s stupid to aspire for an ‘identity’ before having players. But this particular style, while helping the Bulls win games in Mickey Mouse March, likely will not work in the playoffs. Heck, we saw it not work in the play-in game. The Pace slows, and the physicality ramps up significantly. Essentially, like what Billy Beane famously said: Josh Giddey’s shit doesn’t work.

Giddey is the most obvious example of what’s wrong with AKME’s ‘vision’. Even if we are to slot him in that tier of player they’re looking for, he’d be on the bottom end…plus they need 8-9 more.

If looking at this year’s playoff teams, I believe AKME wants the Bulls to be the Indiana Pacers. A deep rotation that has a lot of good to very good players, but nobody making the all-NBA team. Players they acquired by many means, but not by selecting in the top-4 of the draft after eschewing ‘tegridy by tanking. And, as a bonus for these small midwestern markets of Indianapolis and Chicago, it makes for a manageable payroll.

The ass-end of the regular season was supposed to at least inform us³ of who could be in the playoff rotation for the next great plucky early-round exit Bulls team, versus the ‘just guys’, who proved to be easily replaceable in the regular season and are likely unplayable in the postseason.

We’re already off to a bad start if his fake stretch of games has AKME believing Giddey or Coby White is at the level of Tyrese Haliburton. But we can somewhat comfortably put both, especially Coby due to his shooting, on this hypothetical team. The numbers say otherwise, but Ayo Dosunmu’s two-way productivity should place him in that group too. Matas Buzelis hasn’t proven to be at this level, but what he has proven (and combined with his potential) has me comfortable placing him in that group and excited that he may be on the higher end of playoff contributor.

…I guess that’s it?

Let’s first derisively jettison the veterans. Lonzo Ball only played enough to get his next contract. Tre Jones looked useful, but played even fewer games and doesn’t have a contract at all. Kevin Huerter may have resurrected his career, but only to ‘regular season shooter who gets mothballed every playoffs’ level. Vuc, even in a career-year shooting the ball, would be similarly buried in any hypothetical playoff rotation due to his other limitations that are only more limiting as the years go by (so many years…).

And what about the other ‘young players with experience’? This has been a purported ‘roster transition’ years in the making, what is there to show for it?

In a post play-in podcast, Zach Lowe⁴ was appropriately pithy about that whole cohort:

Pat Williams: I think I’m about done.

Jalen Smith: Signed, for some reason, 4 years $36M. Doesn’t play.

Dalen Terry / Julian Phillips: I call them The ‘do something’ Twins. I love a good 3-and-D role player, they’re the outline of something interesting…but at some point you have to do a thing with the ball, put it somewhere.

In short: even if aspiring to be the Indiana Pacers⁵, the Bulls need a lot of luck to even put themselves in a good position to then use skill - skill that they’ve never shown to possess - to target player acquisitions.

And then they need good player development, and they just fired the guy who was leading that whole department. I haven’t posted since the big news of Peter Patton’s dismissal so I’m late to the wake of takes. It’s a longstanding concern that the Reinsdorfian element produces a small (affordable) and insular staff. That would be manageable enough, and I am not so quick to give Patton credit when this team - as I just went through - sucks so much, if AKME was any good at their jobs. But you shouldn’t get the leeway to remove all dissenting opinions when your own opinions have proven to be so terrible.

What is the way out of this mess given these constraints? Well, there’s winning the #1 overall pick next week. And if that doesn’t happen, I have another idea. ::Sarah Koenig voice:: next time, at BlogABull.com…

1. AK would prefer you didn’t recall, as it occurred after the trade deadline but before the arbitrary date where he decided to count their record again.

2. and ownership certainly doesn’t mind

3. I mean us as Bulls fans, AKME only takes wrong lessons from everything they even deem worthy of paying attention to

4. don’t need me to mention that it’s great to have Lowe back in the discourse. That he so rarely talks about the Bulls is an indictment on them, not him. When Lowe does reference Chicago, it is appropriately dismissive of all occurring in “The J.V. Conference”

5. And remember, they are the team that let Jalen Smith walk! That’s a pretty big underlying problem of ‘young players with experience’, typically teams won’t let those guys go if they’re any good.