If AKME wanted to contend like they said they do, having such a thin bench was a crazy and avoidable mistake. DJJ is starting in Dallas and makes $2.7m. Javonte seems teamless (though maybe hurt). 1/3 of our bench literally never plays. Hoping to see Julian Phillips get some run.
I'd ask for Vanderbilt, Reaves, their pick and salary filler. Sorry nothing else does it for me. And at some point the return gets so bad, it just makes more sense to keep him.
The Lakers or Philly are the teams to me. The Lakers are closing with Reddish and Prince. The Sixers have Melton and Batum. But at some point they have to put something real on the table or we just move on.
How about LaVine/Caruso for Klay/Kuminga? Salaries match and get us a huge expiring + young player. Better than any Lakers trade! I think it improves Warriors title chances but they won’t do it for sentimental reasons.
Rebrand the Bulls as "ReinsCorp" and pivot the company away from basketball and instead offer our customers "Zach As A Service" (ZaaS). It's like Software As A Service (SaaS) except instead of software we charge a monthly fee for Zach LaVine, which sadsack teams are able to rent. Then, they can bench him and immediately become a playoff-caliber team. I see no reason why this can't apply to franchises outside the NBA, in other sports, other countries and even whole other industries.
Example: Electric scooter company BIRD just filed for bankruptcy. They hire Zach As A Service, give him a C-Suite office and then immediately send him on a paid vacation. The company pulls out of its nose-dive and perhaps, after a few months as ZaaS customers, comes up with a new product that doesn't unify drivers, bicyclists and pedestrians in a homicidal fury. Perhaps even social movements and political policy groups in decline can enjoy the benefits of hiring and then not working with Zach and find a pleasant but inexplicable resurgence in their now-unpopular views? After a few weeks as ZaaS customers, the Johnson administration will say "Whoa guys, of COURSE we can't house migrants in tents in the middle of winter on a site polluted with toxic waste!" In another testimonial, Arizona Republicans will pause and then begin selecting normal people for high office, rather than body-painting lunatics wearing pelts and screaming about Nancy Pelosi, George Soros and ley lines. (Just some ideas I'm spitballing. ZaaS is perhaps limitless.)
Now introducing ZaaS Mini! Do you like the long-term effects of ZaaS but not have the weeks or months of time it takes to experience the relief of his contract ending? Now you can hire Zach LaVine, Larry Hughes, or any one of a dozen English soccer managers for a few hours or even as little as a few minutes!
Let them deliver some insincere motivational sports metaphors to your lowest performing team at work at watch them immediately improve! Punish the team that finishes last in your fantasy league! Shape up the sorriest pile of puke stains this Army has ever seen with a LaVine defensive "highlights" video! The uses are limited only by your imagination. ZaaS Success Specialists are excited to help you make the most of your subscription.
We need to get working on that Zach As A Service feature comparison chart for the different ZaaSPlans™. I've gone ahead and hired Zach for it and gave him the rest of the week off (it's important that we eat our own dog food at ReinsCorp.)
If AKME wanted to contend like they said they do, having such a thin bench was a crazy and avoidable mistake. DJJ is starting in Dallas and makes $2.7m. Javonte seems teamless (though maybe hurt). 1/3 of our bench literally never plays. Hoping to see Julian Phillips get some run.
I'd ask for Vanderbilt, Reaves, their pick and salary filler. Sorry nothing else does it for me. And at some point the return gets so bad, it just makes more sense to keep him.
The Lakers or Philly are the teams to me. The Lakers are closing with Reddish and Prince. The Sixers have Melton and Batum. But at some point they have to put something real on the table or we just move on.
i'd take Huerter/Barnes from the Kings as well
Can't remember where I saw it, but Vanderbilt isn't eligible to be traded until after the deadline is over.
Yeah, he can't be traded until 6 months after he signed his extension, which winds up being more than a month after the trade deadline.
Which is too bad because I think he'd fit nicely next to Vooch.
Vincent played in the first four or five games of the year, just not very well so it's understandable nobody noticed.
Ha, whoops
How about LaVine/Caruso for Klay/Kuminga? Salaries match and get us a huge expiring + young player. Better than any Lakers trade! I think it improves Warriors title chances but they won’t do it for sentimental reasons.
Imo, Klay is close to worthless now. Kuminga, who knows, but maybe best on a high-talent team.
Desperation is a thing but I'm not sure it addresses anything.
IDEA:
Rebrand the Bulls as "ReinsCorp" and pivot the company away from basketball and instead offer our customers "Zach As A Service" (ZaaS). It's like Software As A Service (SaaS) except instead of software we charge a monthly fee for Zach LaVine, which sadsack teams are able to rent. Then, they can bench him and immediately become a playoff-caliber team. I see no reason why this can't apply to franchises outside the NBA, in other sports, other countries and even whole other industries.
Example: Electric scooter company BIRD just filed for bankruptcy. They hire Zach As A Service, give him a C-Suite office and then immediately send him on a paid vacation. The company pulls out of its nose-dive and perhaps, after a few months as ZaaS customers, comes up with a new product that doesn't unify drivers, bicyclists and pedestrians in a homicidal fury. Perhaps even social movements and political policy groups in decline can enjoy the benefits of hiring and then not working with Zach and find a pleasant but inexplicable resurgence in their now-unpopular views? After a few weeks as ZaaS customers, the Johnson administration will say "Whoa guys, of COURSE we can't house migrants in tents in the middle of winter on a site polluted with toxic waste!" In another testimonial, Arizona Republicans will pause and then begin selecting normal people for high office, rather than body-painting lunatics wearing pelts and screaming about Nancy Pelosi, George Soros and ley lines. (Just some ideas I'm spitballing. ZaaS is perhaps limitless.)
But... does it scale?
Now introducing ZaaS Mini! Do you like the long-term effects of ZaaS but not have the weeks or months of time it takes to experience the relief of his contract ending? Now you can hire Zach LaVine, Larry Hughes, or any one of a dozen English soccer managers for a few hours or even as little as a few minutes!
Let them deliver some insincere motivational sports metaphors to your lowest performing team at work at watch them immediately improve! Punish the team that finishes last in your fantasy league! Shape up the sorriest pile of puke stains this Army has ever seen with a LaVine defensive "highlights" video! The uses are limited only by your imagination. ZaaS Success Specialists are excited to help you make the most of your subscription.
We need to get working on that Zach As A Service feature comparison chart for the different ZaaSPlans™. I've gone ahead and hired Zach for it and gave him the rest of the week off (it's important that we eat our own dog food at ReinsCorp.)