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Bulls Bracket 2019: The best memes and moments for Chicago Bulls’ 2018-19 season

It’s time to determine the best moment of the Bulls’ season.

Hello, we’re doing the Bulls Bracket again. I did this last year. I also did this in 2013 (all hail Cuppy Coffee) and in 2014 (all hail queen Filomena Tobias) in case you want to remember what’s it’s like to actually be happy as a Bulls fan. I would never recommend reading my old work, but those are fun to click through if you’re bored.

This Bulls season has been mostly sad, but there were also tiny morsels of joy buried deep within it. Let’s find them. Thanks to Jason, Steph, Highkin, and others for jogging my memory on some of this stuff. As always, put your own results in the comments.

Bulls Bracket 2019

No. 1 The Leadership Committee vs. No. 16 Mitch Trubisky’s bad take

COME ON, Mitch.

And we could have had Mahomes. Damn.

Winner: The Leadership Committee

No. 8 “People forget Ben Wallace ...” vs. No. 9 “Prepare the children for the road”

I applaud Michael Reinsdorf for being more transparent with the media this year, but some of his spin jobs would make a Soul Cycle instructor blush. Case in point, this interview with the Tribune’s K.C. Johnson:

We signed a top free agent in Ben Wallace in 2006. A lot of people forget he was the No. 1 free agent that year.

Our guy Jim Boylen should really have his own region, but I’m not organized enough to do things that way. This is one of his most Jim Boylen-ass quotes all season:

Winner: “Prepare the children for the road”

No. 5 Wendell Carter Jr. guarantees the playoffs vs. No. 12 Lauri Markkanen takes on climate change

Shout-out to Annie for getting this misplaced teenage optimism on camera:

Meanwhile, our Finnish prince is trying to save the world from climate change:

Winner: Lauri takes on climate change

No. 4 Boozer’s Zion tweet vs. No. 13 Trey Kerby’s “state champs” bit

We need an update, Trey!

Truly a tough draw for Plano’s finest. This Boozer tweet has the potential to go all the way:

Never forget that Zion National Park responded. The seventh championship parade is in Utah.

Winner: Boozer’s Zion tweet.

No. 6 “You’re no Popovich” vs. No. 11 Lauri’s Michael Scott impression

From Yahoo the day after THE MUTINY:

Boylen repeatedly referenced his days on the San Antonio Spurs staff and instances in which coach Gregg Popovich pulled all five players off the floor to send a message, sources said.

A player responded, sources said, telling Boylen in essence that they aren’t the Spurs and, more importantly, he isn’t Popovich.

Now that’s funny. Quoting “The Office” in 2019 ... I’m not sure.

Winner: “No Popovich”

No. 3 “Road Dog Mentality” vs. No. 14 LaVine offers to pay Boylen’s fine

Live every day of your life with a ROAD DOG MENTALITY:

“That’s my mentality, road-dog mentality,’’ Boylen said. “Run when we can, but we’re going to set up and make people guard us through the clock. That’s a Coach Pop [Gregg Popovich] thing and I believe in it.’’

Zach offering to pay Boylen’s fine after getting ejected against the Clippers was a nice gesture. Zach seems like a good dude.

Winner: Road Dog Mentality.

No. 7 Lauri’s rap song vs. No. 10 Lauri’s other rap song

This shit bangs:

This shit also bangs:

“Never had time for no arguments // Big ass shotgun, look like Lauri Markkanen”

Winner: The second one

No. 2 Boylen daps entire team after ejection vs. Joakim Noah’s gold beard

This is my favorite in-game Boylen moment of the year. So in character, so perfect:

Sorry Jo.

Winner: Boylen daps.

No. 1 “Double Lose” vs. No. 16 A new Jimmy Butler meme.

The Mutiny provided so much good content, it could have been its own region. I’m still not over “double lose”:

Please remember, you can’t spell Bulls without two-Ls (that’s Stephen’s line). Sorry Jimmy.

No. 8 Replacing Big Macs with Portillo’s vs. No. 9 Stacey King singing Lionel Richie for Otto Porter Jr.

Portillo’s over McDonald’s is a huge update. But not as big as Otto Porter Jr. over Justin Holiday:

The resemblance is uncanny. I still like Stacey King.

Winner: Stacey sings.

No. 5 Windy City Bulls dog jerseys No. 12 Saint West rocks Bulls gear

The eternal question: dogs or babies?

Winner: dogs.

No. 4 Cash Considerations trades vs. No. 13 Arch’s bench celebrations

The Bulls literally hit the limit on cash considerations this year. Thanks for giving my podcast free publicity, though.

I like Arch’s bench celebrations, too.

Winner: Cash Considerations trades

No. 6 This play vs. No. 11 Jimmy’s corny IG posts

This play!

Tough to beat Mr. Autumn quoting a Batman villain to achieve peak FAKE DEEP, though.

Winner: Jimmy’s IG posts

No. 3 No tacos for Lakers fans vs. No. 14 Nick Friedell singing

The Bulls preventing Lakers fans from getting tacos is honestly amazing. Please click that link and watch how hard the Bulls went on that final possession. Road dog mentality all the way.

I’m still partial to Now That’s What I Call Music Vol. 137: Nick Friedell Sings The Hits.

Winner: Singing Nick

No. 7 Stacey’s telestrator vs. No. 10 “Finnish raking season”

Markkanen is honestly a legend for this one. Meanwhile:

I’m crying.

Winner: Stacey’s telestrator.

No. 2 Jabari’s defense quotes vs. No. 15 Chandler Hutchison’s “awesome soul”

Peak Boylen right here:

“He’s all the things we talk about. He’s coachable. He’s teachable. And he’s becoming reliable,” Boylen said of Hutchison. “I love him in the lineup. He’s a young, developing guy. His heart’s here. His soul is awesome. It’s great.”

“They don’t pay players to play defense” remains an all-time quote. And hey: Jabari got $20 million, so he’s right. Good job, Gar.

“I just stick to my strengths. Look at everybody in the league. They don’t pay players to play defense. There’s only two people historically that play defense. I’m not going to say I won’t, but to say that’s a weakness is like saying that’s everybody’s weakness. Because I’ve scored 30 and 20 on a lot of guys that say they play defense.

Winner: Paying for defense.

No. 1 Boylen does pushups! vs. No. 16 RoLo celebrates Benny’s birthday

Cool hat, Robin Lopez. Now drop and give me 20:

Winner: Boylen pushups

No. 8 “Jacked and Juiced” vs. No. 9 Boylen yelling at shooters

“Jacked and Juiced” is in the Boylen quote pantheon:

‘‘I’m juiced, man. I’m jacked up about it.’’

I mostly find yelling at opposing shooters to be pathetic. Not a road dog mentality, IMO.

Winner: Jacked and Juiced

No. 5 Rodman’s horse tweet vs. No. 12 This Wilmes tweet

Gar, if you’re reading, please RT:

I do love this Rodman horse tweet, as well:

Winner: Wilmes

No. 4 Robin Lopez celebrations vs. No. 13 Boylen drawing up a play down 27

You can’t make this stuff up:

Robin Lopez is such a blessing. Never forget that.

Winner: Boylen drawing up plays down 27

No. 6 Portis flexes on Highkin vs. No. 11 Boylen’s five-man subs

This is the most likable Bobby Portis has ever been:

Winner: Portis flexing on Highkin

No. 3 Lauri’s TBT vs. No. 14 Portis punch redux

This was the day Jimmy Butler requested a trade:

He’s too good for the Bulls. Meanwhile: Bobby Portis punched Bulls players in the face twice this year.

Bobby Portis isn’t good at basketball. Never forget that Gar Forman and John Paxson offered him a $50 million extension. They are so lucky he didn’t take it.

Winner: Lauri’s TBT

No. 7 Kings mock the Bulls vs. No. 10 Blakeney dunk + Lauri face

This 10-seed is possibly extremely under-seeded:

Kings mocking the Bulls is so good, though.

Winner: Blakeney dunk x Lauri face

No. 2 The Cam Payne Game vs. No. 15 Scottie’s Zion > LeBron take

Remember when Cam Payne hit seven threes against the Hornets? LOL.

Love this Scottie take, too.

Winner: The Cam Payne Game

No. 1 Bulls finally get Melo vs. No. 16 Don’t call them ‘GarPax’

OK, Michael Reinsdorf, just let me know which one signed Dwyane Wade and Jabari and I’ll stop.

Let’s talk about them individually because that’s another thing I don’t understand — why they’re referred to as “GarPax” when they have different job responsibilities.

Honestly, I totally forgot the Bulls traded for Carmelo Anthony this season until Stephen reminded me. Has the tank given us amnesia?

No. 8 Arch’s dive vs. No. 9 Portis’ TimberBulls tweet

This is the second most likable Bobby Portis has ever been:

Ryan Arcidiacono actually being good has been a pleasant surprise:

Winner: Portis TimberBulls

No. 5 Butler returns to Minnesota vs. No. 12 Cody’s Bucks poll

I remain pro-Jimmy Butler because he’s thoroughly entertaining. I’m also partial to this Cody Westerlund poll:

The Bulls lost.

Winner: Cody’s poll

No. 4 Khalil Mack’s Bulls uniform vs. No. 13 THAT HAWKS GAME

The four overtime victory over the Hawks is way underseeded. It’s easily the best Bulls game of the last two years, beating even the Bulls’ win over the Wolves last year. Anyway, it’s still not as dope as this:

He even got the Zenni patch!

Winner: Khalil Mack

No. 6 Joakim Noah helps a kid dunk vs. No. 10 Zach’s dogs

Oh damn, kids vs. dogs again. Zach’s dogs are some very good dogs:

But kids get the advantage this time because of Joakim Noah is the best:

Winner: Noah

No. 3 ‘What’s in the box?’ vs. No. 14. John Paxson’s radio “interrogations”

John Paxson sucks, man. Fire him. You know what doesn’t suck? This:

No. 7 Bobby subtweets Bulls vs. No. 10 Suns coach walks out

This is the third most likable Bobby Portis has ever been. I remain dead at how much opposing coaches hate Boylen, though.

Winner: Suns coach walks out

No. 2 Wendell’s Jabari face vs. No. 15 Hutchison’s hairline

Hutchison’s hairline is perfect, but not as perfect as this:

Winner: Wendell’s Jabari face

Final Four

My Final Four: The Boozer Zion tweet, “players don’t get paid for defense”, the GIF of Boylen doing pushups, and MELO.