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If the Bulls held on to that lead against Toronto, here was my extremely sarcastic recap

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Bulls did NOT win their 12th straight against the Raptors. But what if they did?

NBA: Chicago Bulls at Toronto Raptors John E. Sokolowski-USA TODAY Sports

[Note: Despite what this recap says, the Bulls did not win this game. They lost.

But when it was looking like another nonsense win over the Raptors with a double-digit lead and MCW banking in threes, I paused early in the 4th and wrote this up. Started fast-forwarding and saw the score creeping closer and caught the horrible ending. But imagine that ending didn’t happen! I will. -yfbbb]

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We really should all be betting on these. Bulls were around a +250 underdog in a game...against the Toronto Raptors! That dogshit team they can always beat!

And beat them they did. Again.

Gone are the usual 7 offensive rebounds from Taj Gibson and the rare great Doug McDermott game, but the Bulls had plenty of other guys step up because they were wearing Bulls jerseys. Toronto wasn’t even wearing Raptors jerseys, but ‘Huskies’ throwbacks, and that didn’t matter. Once again they saw the Bulls lining up against them and promptly crapped themselves.

The Craptoring was early and furious, as they allowed Chicago to shoot over 68% in the first quarter. Pretty much all of the points came from Robin Lopez, Jimmy Butler, and the Rajon Rondo contract push.

Make no mistake, Rondo was brilliant in this game throughout. He scored his season high with __ points and complemented it with ___. Is National TV Rondo still a thing? I don’t remember and I also didn’t realize until late that the game was on ESPN, I could’ve watched with the sound on to hear Rondo’s heroics without them having been delivered to me by Neil and Stacey. Now, even if you’re a Rajon Rondo hater like me, you have to admit: this still is just the worst feeling in the world, because Rondo’s play of late (he’s like hitting half of his threes this month) Gar Forman will tell us actually the signing was good and cite the Bulls record against Toronto as how good his team is. They’re happy about this, don’t you see.

The Bulls bench came in with a 4 point lead in the 2nd quarter and quickly got it over double-digits with some three-pointers by Valentine, Portis, and Zipser. The Raptors bench, in response, sucked. Now, the Raptors are without Kyle Lowry but the Bulls are without a purpose or direction as a franchise, so let’s not compare handicaps. Essentially for Toronto it was DeMar DeRozan and Serge Ibaka making shots that kept them in this one, and were only down 5 in the half after a bailout three by DeRozan.

Dwayne Casey’s halftime speech reminded his squad that they never beat the Bulls, so they promptly went back in a hole. Jimmy Butler was sopping up putbacks and FTs, and eventually started making threes two because why the hell not. Niko had 2 more from the corner, and the Bulls bench was going bananas with every make and saw themselves back in a commanding position again.

Serge Ibaka, new to this horrific dumbass curse his team is under, saw a way out in getting in a fight with Robin Lopez. There were actual punches thrown, so both were ejected and could be seeing further suspension.

The game was pretty much over here. Sure, a double-digit deficit isn’t too bad, but the Raptors lost when they walked on the court. They always do against the Bulls.

The Bulls are somehow still in the East playoff race, and ‘losing’ Dwyane Wade looks to have been as fortuitous as many thought. They have an important game the very next night against fellow ‘hopeful’ Detroit, then have an extremely easy schedule to end the season. Even one of their tougher matchups is Cleveland but it’s a #TNTBulls one so that’s a W. They may get to the playoffs yet, with Gar’s plan having worked. Or they’ll fall apart like they did last year. Or they’ll do that and still get in because the teams they’re ‘competing’ against stink too.