The Chicago Bulls didn’t finish last in something!
ESPN writer Zach Lowe released the first part of his annual NBA League Pass rankings, which is basically a subjective measure of how watchable each team is. The Chicago Bulls checked in at No. 28. Lowe ranks teams on a 1-10 scale in five categories and then takes the composite score for each team to determine these rankings.
Here’s what Lowe had to say about the Bulls.
They will likely trot out the league's most depressing opening night starting five: Kris Dunn, Justin Holiday, Zipser, Nikola Mirotic (and his drippy beard) and Robin Lopez. We have to rescue Lopez. Can he really get through this by watching cartoons?
But the Bulls have the best logo, gorgeous jerseys, a top-notch court, a power forward "sharp-shooter" who pump fakes ghosts, and (when he returns) one player who passes the Linger On This Channel test: Zach Lavine, the best dunker since prime Vince Carter, and a space cadet liable to produce Keystone Kops-level lowlights on defense.
Maybe this is the season we see Fred Hoiberg's pace-and-space offense? (Stop laughing.)
- Lowe does defend Neil Funk and Stacey King here. Before I became a regular on NBA twitter last season, I was under the impression that everybody loved King and Funk. So when I saw all the hate, I was a bit flabbergasted. Yes, Stacey is a homer and Neil probably still doesn’t know what Michael Carter-Williams name is, but they have fantastic chemistry and King is laugh out loud funny. So, absolutely, getting to listen to Neil and Stacey deservedly elevated the Bulls out of the lowest spot in these rankings. At least in my opinion.
- Has anybody seen the new WGN promo for the Chicago Bulls upcoming season? Basically, the premise is Zach LaVine, Kris Dunn, and Lauri Markkanen wearing nametags and introducing themselves with the end message saying that you should watch this season so you can meet and learn about the new-look Bulls. When the local television network acknowledges that the local fans have no idea who most of these players are so they need an introduction, you know the team isn’t going to be very watchable this season. And if local fans don’t know the players, why would you expect fans from around the country to tune in to watch a Bulls game on NBA League Pass?
Lowe releases the second installment of his rankings tomorrow. How high will the TimberBulls be on the list?