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Bulls vs. Cavaliers game preview: Halloween night home opener

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David Richard-USA TODAY Sports

[Thanks to THEKILLERWHALE for today's game preview. Yes, it's back this year. -yfbb]

My, it's a spooky night in NBA basketball! The Chicago Ghouls and the Cleveland CavaFears will face off tonight at the Boo-nighted Center in what is sure to result in bloodbath! Chicago is 1-0 this after dismembering the Boo-York Knicks in the season opener while, Cleveland was absolutely murdered by this same Knicks team. While Cleaved-Hand is looking to get their first win of the season, do not expect Tom Thibodeau's team to be ... AFRAID!

Matchups:

Point Gored: Derrick NOOOOOOOOOOO's vs. WHYME? Irving.

Edge: Bulls

Shooting Gored: Shriek Hinrich vs. Dion Slay-ters. [Maybe Jimmy 'The Butler Did it' -yfbb]

Edge: Cavs

Small Forward: Mike Dunleavy vs. Le-Bone Maims.

Edge: Cavs

Power Forward: Pau Gasol vs. Kevin Loathe.

Edge: Cavs

Center: Joakim NOOOOOOOah vs. Anderson Scare-ejao

Edge: Bulls

The Cavs win more matchups in the starting lineup but the Bulls have more chemistry, deeper bench and are better coached.

Things to Watch: McDermott already looks like he can score at the NBA level and that's a very, very good thing. Let's see if he can pull it off with LBJ in his mug. Our front-court looks great with the glaring exception of Joakim Noah. That said, there are two things that make Jo play good basketball. One of them is 3 months of already playing basketball and the other is wiping that stupid smirk off of LBJ's face. I see him having a monster game. Look for the Cavs to whine like a bunch of piss-pants crybabies. These dickless Ohioans have no chance against us.

Prediction: Bulls by 12.

Okay game, that's the preview. May the best SCREAM win! The game is on ESPN at 8ET.