Chicago Bulls 2012-2013 tournament bracket

There's an unwritten rule at every website that states the arrival of the NCAA Tournament must lead to various gimmick brackets -- be it craft beer or mascot fights or movie sequels. I took it upon myself to make a Bulls-themed bracket full of memes, bad jokes that have been beaten to the ground and a few tangible things from this season that actually happened. You can question the logic behind this, but you can't argue that watching the Bulls play basketball is more enjoyable.

Here's a look at the full bracket. Don't worry, it's blown up by regions below:

(Yes, that's as good as I could get it with my 'read only' version of Excel. Someone can feel free to make a better one.)

Let's get right into it.

First round, Dickey Simpkins region

1. "More than enough to win with." vs. 16. Playing time for Vladimir Radmanovic

Winner: "More than enough to win with" -- Has more than enough to beat Vlad Rad with, at least.

2. Kirk Hinrich's house in the area vs. 15. Kirk Hinrich stuck in a well

Winner: House in the area. Tough matchup for the well, running into the tournament's scariest two-seed. Could have been a promising sleeper.

3. Kyle Korver's trade exception vs. 14. Lou Amundson

Winner: Trade exception. Never forget.

4. Thibs freak out vs. 13. Nikoka Mirotic stats

Winner: Mirotic. Thibodeau's freak out was great, but Mirotic is one of this franchise's few reasons for optimism.

5. Noah finger guns vs. 12. Noah jazz hands

Winner:

6. Ben Gordon nostalgia vs. 11. Tyrus Thomas nostalgia

Winner: Gordon. Does anyone go Ty Rise here? YFBB?

7. "www dot my face dot com" vs. 10. "I like my meatballs spicy"

Winner: Meatballs

8. Boozer dunk vs. 9. Boozer scream

Winner: Dunk

First round, Jud Buechler region

1. "Don't skip steps" vs. 16. 3-0 vs. Knicks

Winner: Still not skippin' steps

2. Beating the Heat vs. 15. Paying the luxury

Winner: Heat. WILL THEY EVER LOSE AGAIN?

3. Joakim Noah triple-doubles vs. 14. Deng in the Olympics

Winner: Noah.

4. Losing to the Kings by 42 vs. 13. Losing to the Bobcats

Winner: Kings. Without DeMarcus Cousins!

5. Amnesty Boozer vs. 12. Marquis Teague's mustache

Winner: Amnesty Boozer. Could be a fan favorite.

6. Missing Omer Asik vs. 11. Preseason Nazr

Winner: Omer. Collectively, we're still only about 20 percent over this, yes?

7. Taj dunks vs. 10. Taj blocks

Winner:

8. Luol Deng's long twos vs. 9. "Jimmy is not impressed"

Winner:

First round, Norm Van Lier region

1. Deng and Noah making the All-Star Game vs. 16. The "yeah, baby!" Austin Powers soundbite played at the United Center.

Winner: Deng and Noah -- but it's close.

2. "Fred cleared him" vs. 15. Playing without Rip/Kirk/Taj/Rose

Winner: Fred. He could clear his way to the Final Four.

3. The emergence of Jimmy Butler vs. 14. Bulls playing hard ball with Marquis Teague's rookie contract

Winner: Jimmy -- much as I love a prime example of the Bulls being cheap assholes.

4. Jimmy Butler earning "Kobe stopper" vs. 13. Luol Deng's torn wrist ligaments

Winner: Kobe stopper. Don't forget about the fadeaway, either.

5. Marco as crunch-time point guard vs. 12. Kyrylo Fesenko

Winner: Fes. Upset alert!

6. Rose's burning hamstrings vs. 11. Rose pregame dunks

Winner:

7. Good Nate vs. 10. Bad Nate

Winner: Good Nate. Bad Nate had to winner a play-in game against Rusty LaRue just to get here.

8. Deng plays 45 minutes vs. Noah plays 45 minutes

Winner: Noah. It's totally uncalled for, potentially dangerous and downright stupid, sure, but at least we don't have to look at Nazr.

First round, Brad Miller region

1. Cuppy Coffee vs. 16. Green jerseys

Winner: Cuppy Coffee. Mr. Coffee has wheels, staunch fan support and plenty of energy. Tough to beat.

2. Cheering for Big Macs vs. 15. Rose's USA Today interview

Winner: Big Macs. Really, just another loss for 'fans of healthy citizens'.

3. Reggie Rose speaks vs. 14. Marco's "Running sucks" t-shirt

Winner:

4. Nick Friedell: "Move doesn't put Bulls over the top" vs. 13. KC Johnson's cold bucket of water

Winner: Cold bucket. Isn't there a B-a-B Photoshop for this? Someone post it in the comments.

5. Neil Funk says wrong name vs. 12. Neil Funk unnecessarily mocks opposing team

Winner: Says wrong name. I laugh instead of throw things.

6. Nate's Instagram vs. 11. Rip's Instagram

Winner:

7. Sam Smith's bad jokes vs. 10. Sam Smith's bad opinions

Winner: Jokes. This was submitted by Jason Patt, of course.

8. Giordano's Pizza vs. 9. Adidas

Winner:

Round of 32, Dickey Simpkins region

1. "More than enough to win with." vs. 8. Boozer dunk

Winner: This No. 1 seed has more than to reach the Sweet 16 with.

2. Hinrich's house in the area vs. 10. "I like my meatballs spicy!"

Winner: The house that Kirk built. Ooooo-ooo-ooo-ooo-ooo-ooooo.

3. Korver trade exception vs. 6. Ben Gordon nostalgia

Winner: Korver. Close game in the 'lost asset for nothing' department.

13. Mirotic stats vs. 12. Noah jazz hands

Winner:

Round of 32, Jud Buechler region

1. "Don't skip steps" vs. 9. "Jimmy Butler is not impressed"

Winner:

2. Beating the Heat vs. 7. Taj dunks

Winner: Heat. Makes me long for the days when Taj would dunk on the Heat.

3. Noah triple-doubles vs. 6. Missing Asik

Winner: JoNo. Asik it gone. Let it go, man.

4. Losing to Kings by 42 vs. 5. Amnesty Boozer

Winner: Amnesty. The Booz Cruise rolls on!

Round of 32, Norm Van Lier region

1. Deng and Noah All-Stars vs. Playing Noah 45 minutes

Winner:

2. "Fred cleared him" vs. 7. Good Nate

Winner: Fred clears his way to the next round.

3. "Jimmymergence" vs. 11. Rose pregame dunks

Winner:

4. "Kobe Stopper" vs. 12. Kyrylo Fesenko

Winner:

Round of 32, Brad Miller region

1. Cuppy Coffee vs. 8. Giordano's

Winner: Cuppy Coffee at the buzzer. Huge bummer for pizzaheads everywhere.

2. Cheering for Big Macs vs. 7. Sam Smith's jokes

Winner: Big Macs. Literally anything beats Sam Smith's jokes.

14. Running sucks vs. 6. Nate Instagram

Winner:

13. KC's cold bucket vs. 5. Neil Funk says wrong name

Winner: Neal Fünke

Sweet 16, Dickey Simpkins region

1. "More than enough to win with" vs. 12. Noah's Jazz hands

Winner: More than enough to reach the Elite 8 with.

3. Kyle Korver trade exception vs. 2. Hinrich's house in the area

Winner: House.

Sweet 16, Jud Buechler region

9. "Jimmy Don't Care" vs. 5. Amnesty Boozer

Winner: Jimmy. Booz is finally gone.

3. Noah triple-doubles vs. 2. Beating the Heat

Winner: Noah. But if the Bulls beat Miami next Wednesday and snap the streak, I'll have to reconsider.

Sweet 16, Norm Van Lier region

1. Deng and Noah All-Stars vs. 12. Kyrylo Fesenko

Winner:

11. Rose pregame dunks vs. 2. "Fred cleared him"

Winner: Rose. The clearance stops here.

Sweet 16, Brad Miller region

1. Cuppy Coffee vs. 5. Neil Funk says wrong name

Winner: Coffee.

2. Cheering for Big Macs vs. 14. "Running sucks"

Winner:

Elite 8, Dickey Simpkins region

1. "More than enough to win with" vs. 2. Kirk Hinrich's house in the area

Winner: House.

Elite 8, Jud Buechler region

9. "Jimmy Butler is not impressed" vs. 3. Joakim Noah triple-doubles

Winner: Noah. Can't wait for a Noah 5x5 entrant next season.

Elite 8, Norm Van Lier region

12. Kyrylo Fesenko vs. 11. D. Rose pregame dunks

Winner: Rose dunks. Bonus points when it's off the left leg.

Elite 8, Brad Miller region

1. Cuppy Coffee vs. 14. "Running sucks"

Winner: Coffee. Roll tide.

FINAL FOUR

2. Hinrich's house in the area vs. 3. Noah triple-doubles

Winner: Hinrich. Noah got stuck in the well!

11. Rose pregame dunks vs. 1. Cuppy Coffee

Winner: Coffee. If he can beat Dashing Donut and Biggie Bagel, he can take out a dude with one good ACL.

Championship Game

2. Kirk Hinrich's house in the area vs. 1. Cuppy Coffee

Winner: Crown him.

Who's your favorite sleeper? What's your Sweet 16/Final Four? Put it in the comments!

Ricky O'Donnell is an assignment editor at SB Nation. Email at richardpodonnell@gmail.com.