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Bulls vs. Orlando Magic Game Preview: Dwight Howard-less Magic off to a surprising start

Jameer Nelson will not play tonight for Orlando

the (fat) people's eyebrow
the (fat) people's eyebrow

[Thanks to boyonthedock for today's game preview. And a reminder from our pals at TiqIQ, Chicago Bulls Tickets for tonight's game can certainly be had. -yfbb]

Hey Blog a Bullies, we got a new season apparently. I've watched like the first half of the game against Sacramento, and then fell asleep, so I think I am uniquely qualified to preview any and all Bulls games. Lets get into it, shall we?

Magic vs Bulls coverage

The Bulls are biding time until Rose comes back and saves us all, like when Tommy had to wait for his new white ranger suit to finish cooking or whatever and saved the rest of the over matched angel grove gang. In this analogy, the Magic are a 50 foot tall monster made of foam rubber. Kirk Hinrich is holding down the fort, and shooting miserably, .263 from the floor and a goose egg from three. So he's bricking a stupid amount of shots, and I assume he still dribbles to, under, and then away from the basket. He was good once, right? The last time I remember liking his gawky butt was when Rondo threw him into a table. So far his return to Chicago has not resulted in a renaissance of Milleresque proportions. Jameer Nelson is one of the 6 non-elite PGs in the league, so Kirk should not have much trouble keeping him under 10 points. [note: Jameer Nelson is out tonight, E`Twaun Moore will start for the Magic -yfbb]

Rip Hamilton appears to still be on the team, scoring a the same ~14 points a game as the rest of the starters. Thats nice to see after his nightmare last season. But he's standing in the way of my boy Jimmy Butler, who's hyper efficient scoring makes me all warm on the inside. This guy knows how to get to the line, knows where he can score, and won't try to do anything you won't ask him to do. I watched and loved the dude at Marquette, and he can do more than he's currently doing. He is a quality NBA player, paying his dues right now. He's the Nicky Sobotka, wasting away on the bench, while Kirk Hinrich is Ziggy Sobotka, the favorite son who happens to be a colossal fuck-up. Former future Bull and Dwight Howard equivalent Aaron Afflalo plays the 2 for Orlando, and so far this year he joins Hinrich in shooting awfully. Or maybe JJ Reddick plays most of the 2. Are they running him out there at the 3? Where ever he's playing, he's shooting lights out so far this year .640 from the field and .750 from 3. To compare, Hinrich is shooting .571 FROM THE FUCKING FREE THROW LINE.He's bad, and I hate him, and I want him to go away forever, even if it means more Nate Robinson. But back to the Magic, this is team comprised entirely of power forwards and shooting guards.

I don't know who E'Twaun Moore is, so Deng should do just fine on him I guess or Reddick or however they run this lineup out there. It seems to be working so far, as they blew out Phoenix in their last game. The whole team (save for nelson and Afflalo, and Big Baby, who is just normal for a volume guy) is shooting the lights out, even Hedo, so some of that vaunted Bulls defensive special sauce will need to be on display. Its hard for me to believe this team is 2-0, considering their best players seem to be Glen Davis and JJ Reddick, of all the fucking people in the basketball world. Seriously, Big Baby is putting up 25 and 10 so far. Reddick is scroing 22.5 on 12.5 shots. Orlando is crazy town, population: Magic.

Big Baby. Fuck this goofy dude. You know what? Fuck Boozer too. You probably knew that second part.

Nikola Vucevic is the center I assume, because there is no way they are putting Big Baby out there, right? I don't know what this team is doing to me, but looking at their stat sheet is just making me angry. Noah's better than this guy. Also better than his back up, McBobs. Noah has the distinction of the only non-Jimmy Butler Bull I'm looking forward to watching tonight. Just kidding! I'm watching election results tonight like the rest of you. I assume the Bulls will win because it makes me uncomfortable when a gutted team won't lay down and die like they are supposed to and I should be able to play poker on a Saturday and expect a win over the goddamn Davisless Hornetss without any shenanigans so the Bulls owe me this one so I can drink in despair/celebration in peace.

Orlando Pinstriped Post may have some sort of useful preview for you to read at some point.