BULLS BRACKET II
We did this last year, so let's do it again. The only rule is that the entries needed to occur since I published the last bracket.
I chose some winners, but please include your Sweet 16, Elite 8, Final 4 and title game winner in the comments, if you want to.
Fred Cleared This Region
1. Yannick Noah interview during Heat game vs. Thibodeau's "Every game is Game 7" mantra
Winner: Thibs might think he has more than enough to win with, but nothing can slow down the tidal wave of emotion that is YANNICK.
8. National TV Kirk vs. the mid-season signing of D.J. Augustin
Winner: Hinrich has been great on nationally televised games all year, but I can't pick Hinrich over D.J. Augustin in any scenario.
5. Breaking news from Mitch Lawrence vs. 12. Nate Robinson's NBA Jam quote
When Mitch Lawrence said Luol Deng was soon to be traded, all of the local beat writers rushed to shoot down the idea. Deng was dealt to Cleveland later that day. Lawrence has spent the entire season firing Bulls tidbits from his perch at the New York Daily News, acting as the main force behind the 'Thibodeau to the Knicks' rumors and also recently burying the small fact that the Bulls expect Rose back for the playoffs this season at the bottom of a column about Phil Jackson and the Knicks.
Lawrence's reporting has been entertaining this season, I suppose, but it's nothing compared to Nate Robinson's historic Game 4 against the Nets, when he scored 23 points in the fourth quarter and had this to say after the game.
"I always think I'm on fire," he said after scoring 34 points in the Bulls' wild 142-134, triple-overtime victory over the Brooklyn Nets. "Like the old school game, 'NBA Jam,' you make a couple and the rim's on fire and when you shoot the ball, the ball's on fire. I feel like that at times. Well, all the time. When I'm in the game, I play with a lot of confidence and you kind of got to lie to yourself that you can't miss."
We're going Nate here.
4. Nazr Mohammed shoving LeBron vs. No. 13 Big Sean Lady'
Winner: Nazr Mohammed's open court shove on LeBron James in the Eastern Conference Finals was completely uncalled for, unquestionably dirty and definitely hilarious.
Still, I'm going with Big Sean Lady. Who is Big Sean Lady?
Big Sean Lady is a woman I saw in the stands while attending adidas' annual party for D. Rose. The rapper Big Sean was there to perform. I looked behind me while he was going through his short set and saw this:
We are all Big Sean Lady.
6. P.J. Rose vs. 11. Bulls comparing themselves to "Major League"
Winner: Come on.
3. Jimmy's PMW shirt vs. 14. Taj's improved post game!
Winner: We all love Taj's new post moves, but this is a no-brainer:
7. Bulls fail vine vs. No. 10 Snell refuses to dap Noah
Winner: I love this GIF but I'm still going with this sequence against the Spurs:
2. Thibs maniacal laughter vs. 15. Dunleavy cut vs. Rockets
Round of 32
1. Yannick Noah vs. No. 9 D.J. Augustin
Winner: ROLL YANNICK:
No. 12 Nate's NBA Jam quote vs. No. 13 Big Sean Lady
Winner: "More like Big Fucking Douche"
No. 6 P.J. Rose vs. No. 3 Jimmy's PMW shirt
Winner: Going with PMW over the cute kid because Jimmy's apology was so good.
In regards to the picture that is circulating... It was early last year and the shirt simply matched my shoes. In no way do I support the message written on the shirt. I sincerely apologize to any of my fans who may have been offended. Much love, JB.
Jimmy's shoes also said "Pussy, Money, Weed", I guess.
No. 7 Mega Fail vs. No. 2 Thibs maniacal laughter
No. 1 Yannick Noah vs. No. 13 Big Sean Lady
Winner: It was a magical run for Big Sean Lady, but it ends here.
No. 3 Jimmy's PMW shirt vs. No. 2 Thibs maniacal laughter
No. 1 Yannick Noah vs. No. 2 Thibs maniacal laughter
I'm going with Mr. Noah here:
We have our first Final Four contestant.
Cuppy Coffee region
No. 1 Filomena Tobias vs. No. 16 Andrew Bynum's Bulls career
Winner: Haha, Bynum. He has no chance.
Filomena Tobias, aka the Black Widow, is a force that cannot be slowed down.
(Credit: Mike Ehrmann/Getty Images)
No. 8 Noah MVP chants vs. Nick Friedell and Bobcats cheerleaders
Winner: Noah MVP chants advances, but we'll still post the picture of Friedell with the Bobcats cheerleaders:
No. 5 Turnt Up MJ vs. No. 12 The Derrick Rose Rule II
Winner: Turn Down MJ For What
No. 4 Jimmy Butler and Miley Cyrus vs. No. 13 Jimmy at Pitchfork
Winner: Jimmy Butler is our nation's greatest summer music festival attendee, but the edge goes to Miley.
No. 6 Joakim Noah is a teenaged girl vs. No. 11 Deng's 56 minute game
The Vines make this page load too slow, so I'll just link it.
No. 3 Marco's big balls vs. No. 14 Marquis Teague's Twitter feed
Winner: I always enjoyed Teague's Twitter feed, mostly when he quoted rap lyrics without any context, but Big Balls Marco is a serious contender in this field.
No. 7 Jimmy slams on Bosh vs. 10. Lorde live tweets the Bulls
Winner: The best moment from the best game of the last year:
No. 2 Waka Flocka's breaking news vs. No. 15 "Afrose"
Winner: Six days after I published the first Bulls bracket! This was, of course, before the Bulls would snap the Heat's 27-game winning streak. #HolyShit
Word is D.Rose back #HolyShit— Waka Flocka Flame (@WakaFlockabsm) March 27, 2013
Round of 32
No. 1 Filomena Tobias vs. No. 8 Noah MVP chants
No. 5 Turnt Up MJ vs. No. 4 Jimmy and Miley
No. 6 Joakim Noah is a teenage girl vs. No. 3. Marco's big balls
Winner: That's a spicy meatball.
No. 7 Jimmy on Bosh vs. No. 2 Waka's breaking news
Winner: Upset! Waka is like my favorite thing ever, but I'll go with Jimmy here, since actually did play in that game.
No. 1 Filomena Tobias vs. No. 4. Jimmy + Miley
Winner: Hey Miley:
No. 3 Marco's big balls vs. No. 7 Jimmy slams on Bosh
No. 1 Filomena Tobias vs. No. 7 Jimmy slams on Bosh
Norm Van Lier region
No. 1 D. Rose plays ninjas and samurais vs. No. 16 Joakim Noah's new she endorsement
No. 9 Kirk Hinrich's Charlie Brown moment vs. No. 9 "Don't tell Thibs"
No. 5 Nate's Steve Novak taunt vs. No. 12 Someone tries to grab LeBron's headline
Winner: This is one of the best GIFs of all-time. Sports division, at least:
No. 4. Muffin Top Mania vs. No. 13 No one likes Boozer
Winner: The GIF of no one giving Boozer a high-five is tremendous, but I have to go with Jimmy's iconic haircut here.
No. 6 Thibs denies the Kate Upton rumors vs. No. 11 Jimmy goes 60 minutes against Orlando
Winner: The rare moment when Thibs shows a human personality vs. the moment that made us wonder if he can feel anything. Upton in a landslide, here.
No. 3 Boozer mic'd up vs. No. 14 Brooklyn bench celebration
Winner: I have never liked Carlos Boozer more than in this video.
No. 7 Smell Salts vs. No. 10 Big Mac runners
Winner: Pregame smelling salts, just make sure you're alive.
No. 2 Noah's tirade in Sacramento vs. No. 15 Noah's media silence.
Round of 32
No. 1 Rose plays ninjas vs. No. 8 Hinrich's Charlie Brown moment
No. 5 Nate's Novak taunt vs. No. 4 Muffin top mania
Winner: Nate forever.
No. 6 Thibs loves 3 Kate Upton vs. No. 3 Boozer mic'd up
Winner: 2:05 to 2:15 forever
No. 7 Smelling salts vs. No. 2 Noah drops (F) bombs
No. 1 Rose plays ninjas vs. No. 5 Nate's Novak taunt
No. 3 Boozer mic'd up vs. No. 2 Noah's "Half Baked" moment
Winner: Tough to pick Boozer over Noah in any instance, but man, I have to go Boozer here.
No. 1 Rose plays ninjas vs. No. 3. Boozer mic'd up
Winner: "HOL DAT TAJJY WOOOOOO"
Beef Wennington region
No. 1 Noah caps in Bosh's face vs. No. 16 Bonus money putting the Bulls into the luxury tax
No. 8 Luol and Joakim's hello/goodbye No. 9 Sir Paul
Winner: Special moment right here, but it's hard to go against the guy who wrote "Blackbird".
No. 5 Tony Snell's rookie photo vs. No. 12 Noah triple-doubles
No. 4 Hinrich form tackles LeBron vs. No. 13 Boozer punches ref in the dick
Winner: I will never forget the time Boozer punched the ref in Dallas, but I did forget it was in the last year. That's why it's criminally underseeded as a No. 13. Still an all-time classic:
Haha, still so good.
No. 5 Jimmy Butler and Mark Walhberg's summer vacation vs. No. 11 Deningitis
Winner: Deng's meningitis scare was the worst non-D. Rose related moment of the past year. Jimmy and Wahlberg, on the other hand, is pretty funny.
On second though, this really should have been the Muffin Top Mania image.
No. 3 Rose eats candy on the bench vs. No. 14 Kirk Hinrich's "power clap"
Winner: I will never get over Rose eating candy on the bench during the playoff series with the Nets.
No. 7 Stoic Deng vs. No. 10 Tony Snell's mom
Winner: Stoic Deng forever.
No. 2 D. Rose's Duck Dynasty costume vs. No. Benny the Bull hijinx
Winner: Still not even one percent over this:
Round of 32
No. 1 Noah caps in Bosh's face vs. No. 9 the Bulls and Sir Paul
No. 5 Demon Snell vs. No. 13 Boozer punches ref
No. 6 Jimmy and Marky Mark's Excellent Summer vs. No. 3 Rose eats candy on the bench
That shit was cool when D. Rose brought some snacks to that playoff game tho. Nigga was munching and snacking and chilling.— D'Brickashaw (@DragonflyJonez) October 5, 2013
No. 10 Stoic Deng vs. No. 2 D. Rose's Duck Dynasty costume
No. 1 Noah claps in Bosh's face vs. No. 13 Boozer punches ref in the dick
No. 3 D. Rose eats candy on the bench vs. No. 2 D. Rose's Halloween costume
Winner: Maybe the tightest Sweet 16 matchup of all. I'm going with the costume.
No. 1 Boozer punches ref in the dick vs. No. 2 Derrick's Duck Dynasty costume
Winner: So tough, but I just can't go Boozer over Derrick in any capacity.
Let's take a look at my Final Four:
No. 1 Filomena Tobias vs. No. 1 Yannick Noah
OK, so I spent like 40 minutes last night going back and re-reading that NY Mag feature on our girl Filomena. It's just .. so insane. A snippet:
Tobias’s marriage was also tanking. Phyllis would often appear at the office and demand cash. "Give me 15,000 fucking dollars. Give me 15,000 fucking dollars," she hissed on one visit, according to the former Circle T staffer. Tobias had promised Phyllis that he would stop using cocaine, but she didn’t believe him. In the fall of 2005, the couple was having dinner at Bice, a Palm Beach restaurant, with six other people. Just after sitting down, Phyllis jumped from her seat and placed her lips over Tobias’s nose and began sucking. She was searching for cocaine residue.
This would be the second or third best Bret Easton Ellis novel, I think. Yannick Noah's moment was awesome, but he can't take down Filomena.
No. 3 Mic'd up Boozer vs. No. 2 D. Rose "Duck Dynasty costume"
Winner: Giving Rose the edge here because we knew Boozer was a loud, cheesy guy who seemed like a great teammate. D. Rose in a fake beard and bandana came out of nowhere.
TITLE GAME: No. 1 Filomena Tobias vs. No. 2 D. Rose "Duck Dynasty" costume
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Gimme your Sweet 16, Elite 8, Final 4 and title winner in the comments!