What's Melo Thinking?


(Joe Camporeale-USA TODAY Sports)

I often find myself daydreaming about free agents coming to Chicago to be the final piece to our contending puzzle. I’m the first to admit that I'm guilty of thinking about trades and free agents from the perspective of a Bulls fan. But lots of the articles I see are pretty unrealistic.

Unless yer a wizard and casting an Imperius Curse on other GMs, we’re not getting Kevin Love for Boozer or Lebron for a deep dish pizza. (That last one worked on the ESPN trade machine, I swear! But only if we throw in an expiring medium cheese with ALL the toppings.) These Bulls-sided trades are not the way things are going to shake out. To me, the most crucial part of the process is the free agent themselves.

For us Bulls fans, the hottest name in free-agency this year has been, and will continue to be, Carmelo Anthony. (Lebron and Lance aren't happening, not that we shouldn't try.)

We know he hears the noise around him leaving everyday. I'd feel for the guy if he wasn't making $21.5 mil. But people seem to forget that Dolan and the Knicks have got to be wining and dining him and in his ear constantly. They don’t want him to go!

I thought it'd be fascinating to think about the situation from Melo's perspective. So indulge me, and allow me to play armchair psychoanalrapist and try to guess what he's thinking. At least regarding Knicks vs. Bulls.

Here are some things I think are relevant and Melo is aware of:

  • Championships, championships, championships. If Melo wants to be remembered, if he wants even a chance at the basketball Rushmore, he has to win championships. Wherever he signs, he should want to be contending pretty much every year through this contract.
  • On all of the contenders this year, everyone has taken concessions in their salary in order to win.

Without further ado, a fauxclusive "pros and cons" list from the desk of Carmelo Anthony!

I gotta figure out this free agency thing. La La says she always writes down her pros and cons and it helps her...I guess I’ll give it a shot.

Why I should stay with the Knicks

This is my city! People love me in New York, my boo loves it here and I get to play in The Mecca. And fuck these sportswriters who say I can’t win as a number 1 option. I know I can, and Jim has promised me that we’ll have cap space soon. I know Big D respects me and my opinion, he even came to talk to me about Woody’s deal.

We have huge expiring deals in Chandler, Amare and Bargnani. Jim says he can unload one of those on a rebuilding team, so maybe Lowry, Rondo and Love would come here. I know I can make some noise with those guys.

Derrick hasn’t been healthy for so long, and he’s always going to be the star; he's Chicago's favorite son. And I don’t really want to have to live up to Mike.

Plus, I’m going to get paid the most staying. I can take less than the max and still make more money than anywhere else.

I want to be a hero. New York is my Gotham, and I can be its Batman.

Why I should go to the Bulls

As of today, we’re not even in the Eastern Conference playoffs. Thibs has taken Noah and the Rose-less Bulls to a better record than us. There’s no way that should be happening.

Add me to Thib’s monster defense and we can take the league by storm. And I’m sick and tired of being called a bad defender; if Thibs can mold Kyle Korver and Marco Belinelli into defenders, then I should be All-Defense.

Nobody wins alone. Lebron teamed up with Dwyane and Chris before he started winning. Even Mike had to have Scottie before he broke through. I love Jimmy D, but no one knows for sure if anyone is coming. I know Kevin might stay or go to the Lakers, and I have no idea what’s going on with Rajon. At least Chicago has 2 stars ready and waiting. If Derrick is healthy, he, Noah and I would be a force to be reckoned with. And I know DRose won’t start drama; he’s a good dude.

Chicago is still a big market, and I’ll still get paid. I've got that Christmas card from Jerry Reinsdorf that said that he’ll go over the cap for a team that can win.

Plus, Thibs has the best smile.



It’s a tough decision. I have no idea, but I've got some time. Good thing I've got these bloggers telling me what to do from their mothers' basements. They definitely know better than me.

Melo out.

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