Bulls at Cleveland Cavaliers: Game Preview #38

[Thanks to boyonthedock for today's game preview. Kyrie Irving is reportedly sick and a game-time decision. Maybe the ol' "Rose flu", knowhatImean? -yfbb]

So the Bulls jet off to The Cleve to take on the team that Lebron James used to be on. This is the two team's first meeting since the Cavs worst home loss in franchise history. And Rose didn't even play! It should be a fun game to watch because the Bulls are one of the two teams competing. I say: Cleveland, Hello!

The Cavs are currently doing just about as good as they have all year recently, going 3-7 in their last ten basketball competitions. Apparently they were the team my man Steve Novak rained all over a couple days ago. They are winning about 2/5 of their games throughout the year, placing them firmly in the eastern conference tier of "Milwaukee and Cleveland." This tier is distinguished by its position between "Media Obsessions That Play .500 Ball" (Boston and New York) and "Terrible, But Not a Special, Historic Brand of Terrible" (Detroit, Toronto, and New Jersey).

These two teams try really hard every night, bless their hearts, but are stricken by an overwhelming onslaught of injuries for what seems like the 6th year in a row (Milwaukee) or victims of baffling roster construction with a band aid of lottery picks (Cleveland). I should like these plucky underdogs, but they are willfully and maliciously employing Luke Harangody, so they will receive no sympathy from me. I just really, really hate that guy and his ugly stupid game and will forever. They have let him play 112 minutes this year (when he is not earning one of his many, many deserved DNP-CDs)!

But the real attraction here is some point guard who went to some Carolina school who is next in line to try to live up to the Myth of the Next Derrick Rose. Kyrie Irving has been pretty good this year, you know, for a rookie on a bad team. Good enough to make the Cavs merely kind of a bad team! All Star snub talk was getting thrown around! Every Cav was pretty bad in the last meeting, but Kyrie was sort of ok, shooting .455 from the floor with 13 points and a TEAM HIGH 3 assists. I guess he like shoots good and stuff and from what I've read he will be the rookie of the year running away because Jeremy Lin is not a rookie, surprisingly. But this is his first game against HumbleBot Executioner 9000, so he will be blown by all game and he will try to match rose and just look silly in a general sort of way for even attempting that.

Anderson Varejao, the man Joakim Noah inherited every single thing an announcer says about him from, will not play today because he is dead for a couple months. But i believe he just got paid so bully for him. In his place is Semih Erden who is a big white stiff from Istanbul who can talk in his incomprehensible foreigner talk to Omer Asik if they don't hate each other or something I don't know about. He should have never 86'd the 86 jersey. It was so much better than boring old 9.

The Cavs also have Antawn Jamison, and, if you believe it, according to he is EVEN OLDER THAN TAJ. You may recall hating him when the Wizards were bouncing the Baby Bulls out of the playoffs every year in the murky, shapeless time Before Rose. He's a stretch four and will do stretchy, foury stuff but not too well and very crankily because hes old and pissed he has to miss Blue Bloods to play in a silly kids game.

Anthony Parker is also very old and starting. To be fair, Boobie Gibson played more minutes in the match up with the Knicks, but when those are your choices, who cares.

To round out the starting 5 is everyone's favorite Israeli NBA player, Omri Casspi. In my mind, when Casspi was acquired by the Cavaliers the headlines read "Casspi-in C!" because that is just the kind of tortured pun I adore.

Once again, the Bulls play a team that is worse than them at every position bench through starters. Now that Rose is back, I expect them to beat their previous mark of a record smack down. Anything less is a disappointment. The funny thing is i had to check to see if the Bulls had even played the Cavs this year. Then I saw and vaguely remembered "Oh yeah, some historic victory? that sounds sorta familiar." This team's awesomeness has become almost monotonous in its consistent domination. Losses are a shock I am not accustomed to dealing with. So it was fun watch that Spurs game while we all sit around and wait to play the Heat in a best of seven. Anyway, this game should look like when Kentucky plays Arkansas Little Rock.

Fear the Sword is the place to go to hear what people who care about the other team have to say.

I am going to guess that Neil Funk shits on Tristan Thompson all game.

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