Bulls/Brooklyn trade ideas

Welcome back. It's open season for ridiculous trade suggestions!

Let me begin by invoking the ancient Jewish rite of the Azazel.

Once a year, on the tenth day in the seventh month, the High Priest of Israel would select two goats from among the pastures of the chosen people. The first of these goats was the Lord's goat. His throat was slit and his blood was taken beyond the veil of the Holy of Holies and cast upon the lid of the ark of the covenant (later to melt the faces of Nazis). The second of these goats, the Azazel, was made the vessel of the corporate sins of the chosen people. The sins of the Israelites to Jehovah were placed symbolically on the head of this second goat which was subsequently driven into the desert, taking the year's transgressions with it. The Day of Atonement ended thusly.

What, you may ask, does this have to do with basketball? As the season progresses, the fanpost section will become littered with asinine trade suggestions made by first time posters with little salary cap knowledge, no idea of trade balance and no capacity for restraint or self-awareness. Within the last three months alone we have had respected bloggers suggest that we could trade Carlos Boozer and Omer Asik for Kevin Garnett (hah!), Boozer for Omri Caspri and even had one suggestion with an incredibly rare feat of two simultaneous acts of insanity whereby we trade Noah for Scola or Boozer and Korver for Pau Gasol (the horror!). Like the ancient Israelites, let us not allow these sins to be scattered haphazardly among our fanposts but instead concentrate them within a single thread which shall be cast unto the wasteland, never to be seen by man again. (UPDATE: I totally forgot my all time favorite idiot trade suggestion, the truly awful Boozer for Hedo and Redick from last year. This post takes the art of bad trade ideas to a truly transcendent level.)

Thus, this thread is to be treated as an open forum for idiotic trade suggestions. Do not go rogue and post your damn-fool ideas in independent fanposts but concentrate the inanity in a single, idiotic thread.

Allow me to visit the first transgression upon the head of our goat.

Marshon Brooks is in danger of becoming redundant in the Nets lineup. They have an embarrassment of riches at the guard position and his apparent lack of defensive commitment may send him behind one Bilbo Bogans in the depth chart. Cut to Chicago where we have been longing for a young guard to team with DRose long term and are in a position to put down some major cash extending Taj Gibson. Since 2012-2013 does not seem to matter from the front office's standpoint, maybe we should sacrifice some of our front court depth in the short term so that we can get that long term back court pairing.

The first of these is an obvious win for the Nets insofar as they increase the quality of their front court exponentially and put themselves in a position where they can lock down this depth long term without using exceptions (by extending Taj with Bird rights). That is, we are trading Taj for Brooks. As this trade is skewed incredibly in the favor of the Nets, they would have to throw in two unprotected first round picks and one of them has to be for 2014.

The second suggestion is an obvious win for the Bulls and entails a Teague for Brooks trade. As such, we would have to part with picks. I am not sure how possible this is given that it totally flies in the face of everything that Brooklyn has done as of late (throwing money at problems, not drafting). However, if you dig a little deeper, you realize that Brooklyn is capped out and has almost no trade-able contracts (until December). Maybe they do need to begin amassing draft picks.

Okay, it is done. Destroy these ideas. I know how important Taj is to the team. I am aware of how short-sighted it is to trade down in size. I am aware that Brooklyn has zero motive for accepting the second trade. Kill me with fire. Then suggest your own idiotic trade idea and when the goat is stinking with the corruption of our collective short sightedness we will cast him unto the desert and thus the Lord shall be appeased.

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