[Thanks to BananaReel for today's game preview. Sort of an odd start time, 6:30, on WGN -ed.]
The Cleveland Cavaliers, last year’s regular season champs. This year….eh not so much. With 4 games left in the season this game actually means something. If the Bulls win this one we clinch the number 1 seed in the conference. If the Bulls were a normal team I wouldn’t be worried about this game and would be drinking myself to victory already, but they aren’t. For some strange reason whenever the Bulls play an awful team the Stars Align just right and the Bulls talent dwindles to the level of our opponents. So this could end up actually being a close game when we face these talentless hobos.
There are many different things that could factor into us winning or losing. The biggest problem I see with these guys is the arena they play in. Even with the Cav’s selling themselves on street corners for crack instead of actually playing basketball the Q fills out. I guess you can credit this to the sheer fact that there isn’t much to do in Cleveland except for watch basketball.
Jamison is done for the season. This is the best news this match up has heard since LeBron James left Cleveland. Stretch 4s routinely kill the Bulls. Doesn’t matter what incredible defense presence we put on them they smoke us like a joint around Joakim Noah’s house. That being said the Cavs do have a COUPLE decent players. DECENT!
Those DECENT players are JJ Hickson and Baron Davis(who actually kinda looks like a hobo). While those two have some ability to play basketball I don’t see them being a factor in this scrimmage. So let’s jump into these match-ups and tear these guys apart. Time to jump!
Derrick "Crazy" Rose vs. Baron "The Darin’" Davis
Baron Davis is actually a somewhat respectable basketball player. For an old man his stats are pretty snazzy bring in 13 points and 7 assists a game. His problem comes from the fact that he is playing Derrick Rose. Derrick Rose is this season’s MVP and whether you think he deserves it or not he has also established himself as the best PG in the league.
Advantage: D.Rose and the Bulls
Keith "Value Menu" Bogans vs. Anthony "Sister Act" Parker
This match up is weird. What we have here is two guys that don’t do anything on offense except shoot the three. Both are almost done with their careers and with continue to migrate around the league for the next few years. The difference, one of the them is a staunch defender.
Advantage: McDonald’s Value Menu
Luol "Sudanese Breeze" Deng vs. Alonzo "O" Gee
When I look at the depth chart and saw this guy was starting for the Cavs I immediately knew why they only had 17 wins. If there is anyway way that Deng loses this match-up I can’t think of it.
Advantage: It ain’t Easy being Sudanese Breezy
Sir Carlos Boozington the Injured vs. JJ "Potential" Hickson
JJ Hickson is probably the Cavaliers best player and prospect. For some strange reason he both knows how to play basketball and plays for the Cavaliers. In his last ten games he is average 20 and 12 showing a little bit of his flaunted potential in an otherwise bland season. His only downfall is that he is going against a STAR POWER FORWARD IN THE LEAGUE. CARLOS BOOZER HAS BEEN GOOD FOR THE BULLS SO FAR THIS YEAR AND I DON’T SEE JJ Hickson’s mediocre defense changing that.
Advantage: EAR PLUGS
Joakim "Towelie" Noah vs. Ryan "The Cryin’" Hollins
Another one of those dudes that I wonder how he starts. Joakim will take this match-up no matter how high he might be at gametime.
Advantage: Medical Marijuana
This is one game where I think the Bulls actually blow out the lowly Cavs and show everyone why we deserve to be the number one seed in the East. AND ONE!
Bull- 97 the city of Cleveland’s Municipal fund-76
TL;DR Da Bulls