Brian Scalabrine Named NBA 12th Man of the  Year


Chicago Bulls bench stalwart Brian Scalabrine was named the NBA’s 12th Man of the Year yesterday for his lack of contributions to his team’s success despite holding down a roster spot all season.

“Brian really was the definition of a 12th man this year,” said Bulls head coach Tom Thibodeau. “He sat at the end of the bench, rarely got to remove his warm-ups and, in the few instances he actually got into a game, made no impact other than providing the fans some laughs with his awkward and error-prone play.”

Scalabrine played 18 games in the 2010-2011 season, starting none, and averaged 4.9 minutes played in those 18 appearances with 0.5 rebounds per game, 0.3 assists per game and a 0.1 scoring average — for 20 total points on the season.

“I don’t like to base my votes on awards completely off of stats,” said TNT broadcast Ernie Johnson. “But you can’t overlook what Brian did not do this year. He was completely worthless. A true 12th man. He deserved this … I want to say … honor? But that doesn’t sound right. He deserved this recognition. Let’s go with that.”

But the 6’9” Scalabrine, who has started only 61 games in a 10-year NBA career, was not an unanimous selection for the award. Also receiving votes were That One Guy For The Grizzlies, The Shittiest Player On The Cavs, Sean Marks, The Dude Who Falls Down A Lot On The Bucks and Aaron Gray.

Scalabrine will be presented with his trophy, a press release glued to a piece of cardboard, tomorrow morning at 7:45 a.m. in the hallway outside the janitor’s closet at the United Center.

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