Ugh it is the off season. Right now it seems like the only thing to talk about is Dwayne Wade buying a house and if James Johnson will become a break dancing Michael Sweetney. I think we need something new to talk about so I thought I would make some outlandish predictions about the new season. Now these might not be entirely likely to happen but if I get one of them right I will look pretty smart in the future. Alright here we go:
1. In the first ten games of the season Loul Deng will look amazing and average 35 points a game. We will rejoice and say how cheap his contract is until his left leg falls off in a bizarre pogo stick accident.
2. The Bulls record will be 44-38. This will include a winning their home games 30-11 and then winning every prime numbered road game going 14-27
3. During the first Milwaukee vs. Sacramento game Nocioni and Skiles will stare longingly at each other during the game. Mid-way through the third quarter they embrace at half court and then run out of the building together giggling. They will live happily ever after in the Northwest Territories of Canada.
4. The secret behind Blogabull's man crush with Tyrus Thomas is revealed. It turns out 55% of all the users on the web site are actually Tyrus Thomas. This is especially shocking to me because I never imagined TT was that good at statistics.
5. Kirk Hinrich will announce his name has always been ”Kurt” and VDN was the first person to get it right.
6. Iverson will sign Miami and he will inexplicably get voted onto the all-star team again leaving Derrick Rose off the team. (This one actually could happen and that saddens me greatly)
7. James Johnson will be suspended for 30 games after he hits an opposing player with a spinning backfist followed by a flying knee to the face.
8. Aaron Gray will start at least 5 games this season due to “Matchups”
9. Joakim Noah will get a haircut.
10. Lebron James will become available in a trade. The Bulls will back out of trade talks because of luxury tax concerns and something about a "process".
So there are some of my outlandish predictions. Feel free to comment on them or throw out a few of your own outlandish predictions. Ahhhhhh BS fanposts it sure sounds like the off season.