Portland is one of your wife's girlfriends back in college, Utah and Boozer are your future wife, and you are the Chicago Bulls. Your future wife's girlfriend has some very nice looking assets. She talks a big game, but in essence she really doesn't bring too much to the table except a lot of trouble, and she is too selfish for anything substantial to come out of the relationship. You know she is just into everything for herself. One day your future wife, her girlfriend, and you are sitting around drinking way too much in your apartment. Her girlfriend is pretty bold and from her history you have seen that she is not afraid to make a deal. After a while, she suggest a threesome.
Your first reaction is, "YES!", but you try to play it cool because you don't want to piss off your future wife or screw up something good, but you have been checking out her girlfriend since you were all in the dorms. Her girlfriend has a very nice rack. You have been very tempted to suggest a 3 way in the past because all of your former girlfriends never had any juggs like these. You yearn for them.
Your future wife knows what she wants: Money & Championships. Championship being your hand in marriage and money being - well your money. She understands if she plays out her last year in college then you stay to finish up your last semester, she might lose you with nothing to show for it. Because she really wants your hand in marriage, she actually accepts the deal.
Now the ball is in your court. The easy thing to do is drop trow and accept the deal. You are smarter than this. No, really you are. You also have your eye on a championship too. Since you are a thinker, you understand what this deal really represents. After this deal happens and next year when you're away at school by yourself, you are going to jump from girl to girl enjoying your last semester in college. Sounds like fun, but after everything is said in done, you realize that that girl you have been calling your future wife is just an exgirlfriend, and you are sitting there with nothing.
If the proposed deal is
Portland get Captain Kirk
Chicago Boozer Blake & Outlaw.
This is two seperate deals and makes no sense for the Bulls to do. The Bulls will lose there best back court defender. He is not losing value with a declining contract and will leave the Bulls with a huge whole at the two. A rotation of Rose, Salmons, Kirk, Pargo is a decent rotation. A rotation of Rose, Salmons, Pargo, and Blake is very limited. The goal is to make this team look as attractive as possible for freeagents in the summer of 2010. Keeping Captain Kirk while adding Boozer does this.
The Bulls should just do the deal with Utah and wait to see if this team meshes without including Portland. The Bulls will be leaving themselves with options. They can do a trade deadline deal or sign in trade deal in 2010 with a still valuable Captain Kirk, or let Boozer walk for a better power forward. Your golden child (Wade)could still be signed in a sign in trade for Kirk next year. Then, Boozer could be resigned going over the cap because the Bulls would have his rights.
Getting back to your college days, you have the opportunity to do the deal with the devil or figure things out with your future wife. That pesky future wife's girlfriend is very tempting, but you see right through her. Yes, you got a little somthing out of her, but it is going to ruin something better that you already have going. Sometimes the path less traveled leads to some amazing things. You skipped out on paper which seemed like a good deal, and your friends are definately going to let you have it for a while. The name calling will be a small price to pay.
Since you made the deal with your furture wife, you settle down, and start to reaping the benefits of a great realtionship. She becomes your wife, and the fruit of your labor reveals a promising sign. She is pregnant. You cannot wait to meet your future son, so you go out and buy a onesie today with his name on it: Dwayne with a # 3 on the butt of the onsie. If the child is a girl, just name her Kirk and be very thankful for all you have. You are still married in a heathly relationship, and can still try for another boy, so be happy. You could have been left with nothing.