FanPost

Report Cards and Parent-Blogger Conferences: Pt. 2

Part 2 of my breakdown of the Bulls' season, combining my observations with a marginally amusing, teacher-oriented twist. Part 1 focused on the "star pupils" (the starters & Vinny), while this focuses on everyone else I can think of from this season. These assessments will be shorter than those in Part 1, mostly because these people don't matter as much (truth's a bitch). I'm combining the good and bad (if both do exist) in one section this time, because I'm tired and it's Monday. Let's do this.

Kirk Hinrich - D

GOOD/BAD:

Kirk is honestly trying, and his defense is still better than Derrick's. He occasionally has big offensive nights, but I would have to say he's regressed in terms of productivity (I don't accept his reserve role as a valid counterargument because a good player should perform regardless of when he plays). Hinrich is not a true point, he's not a natural decision-maker, and he tends to waste shot clock time just dribbling at the top of the arc for about 10 seconds per possession. This forces his comrades to rush the offense, and a lot of said comrades could really use that extra time to create space or find better looks.

CONFERENCE TIME:

"Kirk started off doing pretty well, but his attendance has been poor this year. He doesn't seem happy with his role, and he really isn't performing at the level we would like to see. In short, maybe he should transfer to another school where he would be happier, and we could use that space for someone who fits in with our system better."

 

Brad Miller - C+

GOOD/BAD:

Miller is the best offensive big we have, with a unique mix of passing and shooting skills for a guy with his size. However, his defense (as has been the case throughout his career) ranges from mediocre to rubbish, and so his role should remain the same. At times he rebounds well, but quicker, more agressive bigs (like Bosh and Brook Lopez) tend to outrebound him by a large margin. He also has the occasional Drew Gooden moment, in which he takes a long jumper when several better options are available.

CONFERENCE TIME:

"Brad has some pretty good skills, but he has other areas where he shows no signs of improvement since getting enrolled (or drafted). We like having him for the most part, but if he's not considering transferring after this school year, he may not be happy with his future at this school."

 

Luol Deng - D -

GOOD/BAD:

Two years ago I could not have imagined giving this guy a grade this low, but his good season back in the day seems more and more like a fluke (or an ingenious trick to get paid). His career since earning (with a loose interpretation of "earning") that big contract has been a series of injuries and lousy performances. Deng excelled when he slashed and attacked the rim while occasionally nailing open jumpers. He seems much slower in his slashing now (when he's healthy, of course), and he settles for jumpers too often, which are not his specialty. Quicker SF's (Pierce, Butler, etc.) also rape him on the other end. That contract's not looking like a wise investment at all (insert current economy joke here).

CONFERENCE TIME:

"When your boy came in, we expected great things, but he's proving that we may have expected too much. He's hardly in school, and he hogs all the school's resources. It turns out he's slower than most of his peers (SF's), and he just doesn't seem to work as hard as he did in the past. I'm not sure if he would be welcome in another school, but he better start looking. He may also want to consider dropping out if his attendance problems persist."

 

Aaron Gray - D

GOOD/BAD:

How he ever started a match is beyond me. Sasquatch has a nice touch for a big fella, and he occasionally rebounds well. Other than that, though, he's extremely mediocre. He's one of the slowest players I've seen in the league, and he doesn't have any athleticism worthy of note. His defense is okay sometimes, but that slowness makes it easy for others to catch him out of position. He, Eddy Curry, and Sean May should have a fat-off (although, in fairness, Gray dropped some pounds this year).

 

CONFERENCE TIME:

"If we keep our expectations low, Aaron won't disappoint us. And I mean low. Like, if he keeps his shoes tied and tries his very best for 5 minutes every week, he's welcome to keep his seat in class. You may want to pack some salads in his lunchbox, too. I'm just saying..."

 

Lindsey Hunter - C

GOOD/BAD:

He was brought in for cover after Hinrich got hurt, and he was expected to run the floor without killing the offense. In that, he succeeded. He's also seemed to help Rose out quite a bit in terms of mentoring, but he's really expendable now that Kirk's back.

CONFERENCE TIME:

"Lindsey's pretty old to still be in school, but he plays well with others, and he's tutored little Derrick well. He also doesn't cause problems, and we don't have to use much of our resources or pay much attention to him, so he's welcome in my class until a younger student with more potential comes along. Than he needs to graduate or drop out."

 

Tim Thomas - A+

GOOD/BAD:

That grade is sure to have raised the question "WTF?" Well, TF is that we got this guy in return for Larry Hughes, a guy that clearly had no future. Therefore, we got a fairly versatile guy who can score off the bench, handle the ball well for a big, and won't kill us on D, for free (although we had to take Fatty McFat Jerome James' contract with him). A+ for the trade, not necessarily the player.

CONFERENCE TIME:

"Timmy? Great kid! Maybe my expectations are low from the kid he replaced, but your kid's like Jesus f***in Christ in my class!"

 

Larry Hughes - F

GOOD/BAD:

As a Billiken, I really wanted to see him succeed, and I was happy to get him for Wallace, even if it was just to swap massive contracts. When I saw him play in college, he looked like a born scorer, and he actually played well in Washington. He still occasionally shows that scoring ability, but, more often than not, dude chucks up bricks like a construction worker having a temper tantrum. He's still good on D, but it's just not worth it when he goes 2 for 13 and makes children cry. I honestly wonder if takes so many bad shots just so he can hear the soothing sound of rubber hitting iron.

CONFERENCE TIME:

"Get your kid out of my school, and all the bricks he heaved in our school, too!"

 

Andres Nocioni - F

GOOD/BAD:

Too harsh? Methinks not. This guy can't be taught to sit, let alone play in part of a system. He's out of control the minute he steps on the court, and he shoots without a conscience. He's got scoring ability, and he's got a shooter's touch, but he's a selfish sack of crap, forcing crappy shots and committing stupid fouls day and night. He makes the same mistakes (trying to do too much, biting on head/shot fakes, running with the ball like a chicken with his head cut off) at age 29 that he's made from day 1.

CONFERENCE TIME:

"Tu hijo no juega bueno. He hasn't learned a damn thing since he came to this school, he doesn't share, and he doesn't listen. This foreign exchange program isn't working. Wait, Sacramento's school will take him? Dios mio! Gracias!"

 

Drew Gooden -C

GOOD/BAD:

Gooden had some games where he looked to be a promising low-post scoring threat, and he has double-double potential at all times. That being said, he's a terrible defender, and he settles for long, low percentage jumpers way too often. When he plays intelligently, he can rack up boards and points, but he tends to force it too much on offense, and his passing is abysmal. The chin pubes were amusing. All in all, I have no real regrets, especially considering he came over for Wallace.

CONFERENCE TIME:

"Meh, he came to us a C student, and he left a C student. Hooray for consistency."

 

Thabo Sefolosha - C

GOOD/BAD:

A great defender with size and length, I would have liked to see him stay. However, his shot is still below average, and his offensive skills are pretty limited. He can rebound pretty well for his size, but he can also play over thirty minutes without anyone noticing.

CONFERENCE TIME:

"Thabo's a good kid with some potential, but he never really fit in, so his transfer was probably for the best."

Jerome James - F (for "Fat," you see)

GOOD/BAD:

A bad contract for a bad contract. He may never play, and I'm okay with that.

CONFERENCE TIME:

"He can do whatever he wants, but I'm worried he might eat the crayons if I leave them in plain sight."

 

Linton Johnson, Anthony Roberson, Cedric Simmons, Demetris Nichols - N/A

These guys are really the same person, and they all won the "Viktor Khryapa Warmest Ass Award" at one point or another. Seriously though, these benchwarmers played hard on the rare occasions that they received playing time, and they never complained about their roles, so I can't fail them and still be able to sleep at night.

CONFERENCE TIME:

"Who is your kid? Are you sure he's in this class?"

 

There you have it, that's everyone I can remember. Are these grades accurate, or am I full of crap? Did I forget anyone? What grades would you have given? Questions and comments are always welcome (as long as you raise your hand).

 

 

FanPosts are user-created posts from the BlogABull community, and are to be treated as the opinions and views of that particular user, not that of the blogger or blog community as a whole.

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